Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Spoiler Alert: Never a Good Time To Die!

It's kind of surreal. 

I'm being asked often now... "what's it like... living with terminal cancer, no cure... dying... when?" 

My response is simple, "I live between heaven and earth..." But isn't that how we all live? Yes... only... now my finish line is so much closer... Some days I don't want to go there... yet.

I think I know the drill. Might be time to stare down the dark side of living. 


So many questions...

All legitimate questions. 

I'm sure most of us have played the "... if I won a million dollars" game in our minds. So what about the game... "... when is a good time to die... to leave it all behind?"

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

What You DON’T Know For Sure… Could Save You

No no… that can’t be! Isn't what we didn’t know what messed us up in the first place?
the wrong diagnosis
the wrong time
the wrong date
the wrong partner 
the wrong... you name it!

And, isn’t what we KNOW for sure more important than what we do NOT know?

I have stage 4 colon cancer metastasis… and from my vantage point (perhaps it’s an ad-vantage) things look a little different. 

There’s a lot of things I DO know for sure - but that’s another post:-)

It’s what I do NOT know that gives me a lot of peace right now… it all depends on the lens we are looking through!

Worried about uncertainties… a little paralyzed… obsessed... cage rattled?  Take heart... there’s hope.

(A pensive mood... at Sunset Point, Alberta Beach)

Friday, 19 June 2015

Winning at Life's Russian Roulette

For gamers… life is one big glorious championship.
Or at least it feels like it sometimes. Chance… cards dealt… risk glam… recovery comfort… destiny?

Huge highs when we’re winning. But in the darkest times of loss we encounter villains and the threat of impending danger around every curve of life’s maze – as our fearful minds magnify minute shadows.

A little like Russian roulette…any one of those six bullets could do us in.
I’m feeling like that right about now. Recent metastatic cancer scans… waiting for expert consultation on the status of the disease… and my fragile future. Like there’s a gun pointed to my head. Five potential near misses… one “locked on target.”

When the chips are down… the trigger is pulled… when the bullet has our name on it...

how do we keep from falling apart and giving up?

(photo credits: theecologist.com)

Friday, 17 April 2015

Surprised by Death

Sometimes mindfulness comes to us unexpectedly... there's a season for everything.

Recently I attended the funeral of an amazing woman I did not know at all. A complete stranger. She was a friend of relatives, and her life was a true testimony to the redemptive power at work in us.

It's pointless to sidestep the urge to honestly face our mortality.

It's like wrestling an alligator with your bare hands.

The struggle to prioritize life... to face the fact that 100% of us will leave it all behind. It's relentless.

We are strangers on earth...with a temporary visa to enjoy all there is to enjoy...but at any juncture an exit sign will take us out of circulation.

Translate us to a different world. Where depending on our belief we'll live forever... or not at all.

Why is it so easy for Christians (or perhaps anyone) to pay lip service. We know all the right words... we can deceive ourselves into believing we're all good.  We have peace... we have hope.

But is it the foundation upon which we stand every day?

Is it the sacred joy that lifts us up, that sustains us even in the most challenging circumstances. When we are anything but happy...

No one gets out of death alive... is it worth our investment? Do we surrender?

Monday, 2 March 2015

Surrender: Daily Love-Hate Relationship Struggles

Love-Hate Relationship With One-WORD Resolutions. Why did I pick one anyway?

It's almost end of February... my 2015 "WORD" has been accessed daily!

Uncanny how timely some messages in our life are. Born out of suffering... nurtured by Scripture's solid surround... and struggling with my oh-so fragile human limitations. And maybe that's your story as well?

My "go-to" WORD inspiration for 2015 (what's left of it)... is "surrender." Sounds simple enough: simply surrender. As, in the countless times I stifled a yawn while singing, "I Surrender All".  

(Kelowna, British Columbia)

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Happy Boobs: In Praise of Breastfeeding

I'm awe-inspired by everyday miracles... the kind we take for granted.

Like the absolute ingenuity of having instant and takeaway breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks packed into little pockets just under your shirt...

for the most helpless little bundles of creation who inhabit this earth.  Human babies.

Love. Life. Lunch. 

Unfortunately society has successfully managed to sexualize our body parts
so it's considered either vulgar, indecent, indiscreet
or un-classy and somehow inappropriate
to speak of or praise the natural
normal, and absolutely
that sustains life.

Breasts may be beautiful, sensuous, perky, sexy, adorning... but that's also highly overrated!

The fate of many happy healthy babies starts with "happy boobs."
(Courtesy of shop.kmberggren.com)

Wednesday, 4 February 2015

5 Reasons Babies are Worth Waiting For

A lot of life is spent in the waiting room... mostly it sucks the life right out of us.

Waiting for the worrisome test results...

Waiting for a bad relationship to somehow get better...

Waiting for our exercise regime to shed those 10 extra pounds...

Waiting for the annoying traffic lights to turn green...

But... the waiting game isn't just about "bad" things in our lives. That's "waiting":

"...the tedious committed task of hanging in there, lingering, biding our time, holding on, waiting in the wings, cooling our heels... shelved"

It depends what spin we put on the "wait." Some of the most delightful, amazing and awesome events in our lives are so worth waiting for. That's "anticipation!"

We... I... our family... are in a serious state of ANTICIPATION!

"... eagerly awaiting, looking forward to with confidence,
 in suspense, excitedly, expectant"

What's all the kerfuffle about?

We're expecting...

                 (Kelowna City Park Sunday Morning Walk)